I am Mummy's girl: I go home for dinner

When I was in secondary school, my mother was often busy with work and very seldom cooked dinner. Often, I had to settle my own dinner, either cook, eat outside or pack takeaways home to eat. This meant that my family hardly sat down to eat together. Usually my siblings and I ate on our own, and my parents returned home late with takeaways as well.

I remembered mentioning to a friend before that the only time my family really had dinner together was during the annual Chinese New Year reunion dinner. That dinner had a lot of meaning because it was truly a once-in-a-year REUNION DINNER.

During that time, as I often had to eat dinner on my own, it was quite easy for me to go for last-minute impromptu dinners with my friends. For instance, a friend might just suggest going for dinner together after we ended lessons, and it was hardly a problem for me. At that time, I could not understand why some of my friends would hesitate and said they are going home for dinner.
“He/She is such a Mummy’s boy/girl!” I often thought to myself.

I thought it was so easy to dial a phone call home to tell your mother you are eating outside. Just make a phone call. As easy as that!

When I went to university, my mother’s work became lighter and she could afford the time to get off work earlier and go home to cook dinner. It sounded like such a wonderful thing to be able to eat home-cooked food again. But, to tell the truth, I took some time to get used to this “new” arrangement. I was so used to the freedom of choosing what time to reach home (because I did not have to get home in time for dinner) or what I want to eat for dinner etc. Suddenly, I was deprived of this “freedom” and I was transformed into a modern Cinderella who had to reach home in time…for dinner! And yes, for a while it felt awkward to turn into a Mummy’s girl.

Initially, I felt quite embarrassed to tell my friends that I have to leave early from an outing or meeting, or turn down a dinner invitation because I had to go home…for dinner. Somehow, like a horse that has had its reins released for so long, it feels weird to be tied back to the stables. It sounds ridiculous to think in that way, but I guessed it is the same as a growing up child who refuses to let his mother hold his hands on the streets because he does not want to appear like a Mummy’s boy, and worse still to be spotted by his friends.

Now, my mother cooks dinner regularly for about 4-5 times a week and she gets “off-days” when the three children are eating out.

It is hard to describe how lucky I feel when, after perhaps a hard day in school, I know that my mother is coming home to cook dinner. (My mother can cook pretty well, but that is besides the point) This meant that at least my family will get to share some time together almost every day. Although we eat in front of the television, and laugh and comment on the shows instead of really chatting with one another, the feeling is still good. Really good. The feeling of just being together.

The other day, a friend described herself as “a child who goes home to eat dinner” and that is why she has a close relationship with her family. I thought that is so sweet and she is one everyone should be envious of. Some people might exclaim, “What? Going home to eat dinner makes her a person to be envious of?!?” In my opinion, yes, indeed. This might not mean anything when we were young, since most of us go home for dinner everyday, but as we grow older, our social life gets wider. We may set aside Monday to have dinner with our colleagues, Tuesday for dinner with friends, Wednesday with boyfriend, Thursday for overtime work, Friday to go out for movie, Saturday and Sunday to go out after a week of hard work…and…is there any time left for dinner at home? This may seem like an exaggerated list, but it might well be true for some. Which is why I say, people who make time for their family, and set their family at the top of the list ought to be applauded. At least I think so.

I am really glad my mother comes home to cook dinner nowadays, because it has made me a much more family-oriented person, and made me value my family more. I prefer to meet my friends for lunch, if possible, rather than for dinner so that I can be home for my mother’s home cooked food. As far as possible, I try to choose the days when my mother is not cooking to meet my friends for dinner. When I have something on on the days when my mother is planning to cook dinner, I often feel a little guilty to “break the news” to her that I am not having dinner. From my mother’s perspective, I think this does not merely mean cooking rice or dishes for one less person. If you have tried whipping up a meal for your family but they are tied up with work or friends and decide not to come home for dinner, you might understand what I meant, and how your mother feels. (I tried and experienced it before!)

Today, I am not embarrassed to tell others that I am a Mummy’s girl who enjoys going home for dinner.

And, I am proud of it.

*winks*