A new phase of life

This was first published in the newspaper on 18-3-2007.

迈入人生新旅途

如果把一个人的一生当作是一个百年旅途，那么到了25岁，就算是走过了四分之一的人生。　　来到这个阶段，总觉得才算是正式迈入了成人的世界。　　

今年25岁的我，也将以“大人”的身份，做出我生命中最大的决定——和心爱的人携手走上红地毯！　　

当我向朋友宣布这个消息时，朋友的第一反应都是：“这么快？”　　

在本地，女生结婚的平均年龄是27岁，男生则是30岁，按照目前都市人的结婚趋势来看，我确实快了两年，年纪比我大两岁的男友更是快了3年。　　

去年底，我和交往4年的男友做出这个重大的决定，希望一起步入生命的另一个阶段。　　和我同龄的朋友当中，我算是头几个决定结婚的女生。　　

遇到好的对象，决定结婚是一件值得庆祝的事。当一开始的浪漫气氛和恭喜声逐渐沉静下来，迎面而来的竟是筹备婚礼的种种繁琐事。　　

要结婚，最重要的是要熬得过筹备那一关。我听说有些情侣就是因为在这个时候大闹意见，结果最后连婚事都吹了。　　

以前我天真地以为只要搞定了注册、买房子和摆婚宴这3件事，就可以开开心心结婚了。后来，我才发现这3件事延伸开来的大小事还真多。　　

首先要做财务预算，看看两人有多少财力，接着要选好日子，决定在哪里摆婚宴、找地方、看场地、谈合约、拟定邀请名单；再来要申请组屋、选环境好的、价格合理的组屋、敲定后要物色装修商；还要找婚纱店、选礼服、找摄影师和录影师、计划婚礼节目、召集兄弟团和姐妹团、计划蜜月旅行……难怪很多人都说，结婚要花1年的时间来规划，否则事情多起来，很容易产生婚前恐惧症。　　

每个人的婚礼都不同，每个人对婚礼的要求也不同，因此世界上根本找不到真正的“结婚秘笈”。就算周围的过来人提供再好的建议，最终还是要由你和另一半来选择你们要走的路。

我嘛，结婚的筹备工作已经如火如荼地展开，但还是很难想象1年多前，我才刚大学毕业，如今工作不到两年，而不久后我就将从“黄小姐”升级成为“刘太太”！　　

和我一样正在筹备或准备完成终身大事的朋友，过程虽然辛苦，但这相信会是将来让你回味无穷的时光，好好享受吧！

After the article was published, an old friend messaged me and "scolded" me for not telling her about my marriage plans earlier. (I'm sorry, I meant to do it face-to-face, but time is not on my side!) I got a congratulory message from a reader, although he was puzzled why I publicly announced a personal affair. A colleague jokingly mentioned MCYS should look for me to be their mascot, since my plans are so in tune with the government policy. Another colleague who was married, said I brought back fond memories of the time when he was preparing to get married.

I'm so glad he said that. This was one of the reasons why I came up with this piece. Marriage is an experience that one will get only at this stage of life, and one will understand the many things involved only if you have been through it personally.

I hope it brought a smile to those who are getting married, and those who were already married.


P.S. A single-but-not-available colleague joked that the list of "Things to do" might scare off potential wedding couples, like herself! I hope you are not one of them!

Woes of a BTB

Every BTB (Bride-to-be) wants to look her best on her wedding night, I reckon this means being in good shape. And that translates to a slim figure.

And you will be surprised, some women go to the extremes in order to attain this wish.

I recently heard of this true tale. A fellow friend stopped eating rice for two years before her wedding.

What?!?!

This was the no-carbohydates diet she set for herself. Horrifying! I think one needs real determination to go through such a strict and pitiful diet.

Much as I would like to shed a bit of weight in preparation of my wedding, I would definitely not take up such a measure (just to add that I don't have that much time even if I am contemplating)! Imagine just feeding on vegetables and fruits for over 700 days?

When I asked a friend who will be gettting married next month for tips on slimming, she was surprised, "You? Lose weight? For what?"

Now, hearing that makes me feel quite happy for a moment. Well, all girls like to hear people say they are "not fat", isn't it? But still, it would be good if I could shed 1-2 kgs, tone up my tummy and arm muscles.

With the numerous number of advertisments placed by slimming centres in the newspapers, I did think of visiting slimming centres, but I got cold feet soon after I heard of their pricing and the "results may vary" disclaimer. I would rather spend the money on the furniture for my new house. It did occur to me to start a meal replacement diet, but again it seemed too torturous.

I finally decided to take the healthy approach--continue with my regular gym workouts, which I started since last October, and to avoid fatty and oily food.

I was chatting with a health magazine journalist the other day when I asked her, "Why is it that with 2-3 gym workout sessions per week, I am unable to lose weight, but only managed to maintain my weight?"

She gave a very candid reply, "Well, you are just not working hard enough!"

She then explained that as one grows older, the metabolic rate drops, so with the same amount of exercise, and a balanced diet, one can only hope to maintain weight, but not lose weight.

This means I need to work harder during gym. Oh help! =(

P.S. One thing a girl needs to know when she is getting married or preparing to get married is to master the languages used by BTBs (Brides-To-Be). Otherwise, one can get very lost when she is surfing websites for information. Other terms like OTR (Off the rack, for wedding gowns), FH (future husband), PIL (parents-in-laws) are also commonly used.