Marriage

While friends of my age are busy craving out a career for themselves and enjoying the freedom of single hood, at 23, I do not mind getting married or even having a few children.

The reactions from my friends are almost identical.

“You must be joking, aren’t you? Why would women nowadays want to get married at such a young age? Even if they do, most women would not want to have children so soon, right?”

According to statistics, Singaporean women have the tendency to marry late, the average age that local women march down the wedding hall is 27.3.

In a few years time, I would reach this “average” age.

I am not crazy or mad.

I can fully understand that modern women want to have a career; they yearn to enjoy life to the fullest while they are still young.

But when women forsake marriage for reasons being that they want to concentrate on their profession, or because they are too tied up with work, I think it is not worth it.

I know of a woman in her 30s who has a boyfriend who treats her very well. Her boyfriend proposed to her a couple of times, but every time she declined, citing reasons that her career is her first priority. She told me that she is financially and emotionally independent, and she does not need a man to bind her down so soon.

In her opinion, people divorce because they took a wrong step in the first place—getting married.

This kind of mentality is very common among the singles who priced single hood above all.

You can say I am old-fashioned or conservative; all I feel is that marriage is a process everyone should go through in life, be it in the olden traditional times or modern society today. Having children and bringing them up is a career for life.

In my opinion, should you meet someone whom you feel is suitable to spend your life with, you should seize the chance.

(This piece first appeared in Chinese, in the morning edition of Shin Min Daily News, 12/11/2005, Saturday. I shall be posting a copy of that soon! Stay tuned!)