Re-evaluation

It is one of those days when I sit back and re-evaluate my life.

"Reflection" would have been a suitable term to use too, but I prefer the term "re-evaluation". To reflect on one's life seems to suggest that there is something undesirable about the current situation, and that one has to give it some thought in order to improve it. To me, re-evaluation means to look back and make checkings on what one has done so far, and what more one can do.

I made a mental checklist:
- Am I totally satisfied with my life? (I don't think so)
- Am I happy with my job? (Yes)
- Am I missing out on something? (I think so)
- Is there something I want to do but am not doing? (Perhaps)
- What is that then? (No idea)

I have a generally busy life. I said "generally" because whenever I am not working, I would feel rather "free". So much so that I would feel like I am not doing enough to make my life enriching and meaningful.

I look at some people who make their life so packed with activities that at the end of the day, they seem to be just caught up in the busy flow of life, but fulfilling? That is questionable.

That is not what I want.

But I admit that I am a workaholic, I do not like to remain in a "slacking" state. For five days a week, I am kept busy with work and off days are meant to be days for one to rest and recharge. But yet I am trying to fill up those two days each week with activities. You must think I am torturing myself. But, no. I just want to do something more than simply revolving around work, family and friends.

But the question is, what?

Learn a new language? At the moment, I have no particular inclination towards learning any language. It is useless to try and master a language without any interest in that area.

Be a volunteer? A friend recently asked me to join her in some volunteer activities. But with my rather irregular working times, I am unable to commit to those activities regularly, and it does not make sense to me to be just a "guest" helper.

Learn a new skill? There is nothing on my mind right now.

Take up a leisure hobby? I did consider aerobics or dancing. These are healthy activities which are good exercises as well.

But, you see? I just cannot make up my mind.

Sometimes, it is so easy to just stick to the routine in one's life and go with the flow of things. After a while, things become stagnant and we get so accustomed to our life that no changes seem necessary. We even become resistant to changes. Nevertheless, this is also the time when we become trapped under inertia and remain contented seeing things from the perspective of a frog in a well.

I do not want to live my life just like this. I can do something about it, and I know it.

I just need more motivation.

Any ideas?