Keep that chocolate sundae away from me!

That day, I committed a “crime”. The crime scene was Swensens. I was guilty of the act of giving in to temptation and gobbling up a chocolate sundae at one shot. The “judge” has passed a horrifying sentence on me: I have put on one kilogram!

It was a good day and everything had been fine until the point “Swensens” came into sight. How was I to know that my feet would end up taking me there, my fingers pointing to a chocolate sundae on the menu, and my mouth happily chomping it down?

Now, I have to live with the extra kilogram of fats dangling on my flabby arms, thighs and belly. Yucks!

This is the perfect negative example of the saying “you reap what you sow”.

Regrets?

Perhaps.

Another chocolate sundae?

“Look at that chocolate sundae,
The ice cream looks so thick and creamy,
With oozing chocolate fudge,
It looks so harmless,
So yummy!
I am not hungry,
Perhaps just a little greedy,
I know ice cream is fattening,
But surely a little won’t hurt,
I will just take one lick,
Maybe two,
How about just one more?”

These are the thoughts that run through my mind whenever I pass by an ice cream booth. Chocolate, vanilla, strawberry, coffee, mint ice cream…Well, from the looks of it, you can tell I am not a big fan of ice cream because all the names I can recall offhand are traditional kinds of ice cream. I like chocolate ice cream best, decorated with hot chocolate fudge. Frankly speaking, I do not eat ice cream that often, and I do not really have any preferred brand of ice cream (they all taste good to me!).

But still, I crave for ice cream, especially when I am in a lousy mood. People say that ice cream makes one happy. I do not know how true that is, but it certainly makes my day, (of course minus the guilt that comes along with the aftermath of putting on weight).

Well, girls are particular about their figure, forever striving to aim for an hour glass shape. This is an open secret. Although many may starve on rice and noodles, not many can resist the temptation of ice cream.

Most people eat at most a few scoops of ice cream at one go. It is not as heavy as a full meal, or appears as calorific as fried chicken or pizza. So, ice cream does not seem so “threatening” after all, does it?

At the very least, that is how I always try to comfort myself whenever I commit the folly of indulging in ice cream.

I generally have a sweet tooth. It does not help that ice cream nowadays are so cheap. For budget wise consumers, there are push carts in neighbourhoods that sell ice cream in cones, cups or wrapped with bread for just a dollar. Not forgetting fast food restaurants that sell ice cream cones for just fifty cents. For consumers who go for taste, branding and ambience, some restaurants offer delicious ice cream for less than ten dollars.

With such competitive prices, how can one say “no” to a harmless looking chocolate sundae? I can’t!

So to prevent myself from making a mistake the second time, please, please keep it away from me!

Why Durai wanted first class? Now I know!

I went on a short getaway trip to Bangkok last weekend. On my return trip from Bangkok, I was given a business class ticket.

“Business class?” I asked the counter staff at the Bangkok airport. My air ticket had already been paid for. It was for economy class.
“Yes.” He replied plainly.
I did not enquire further. I thought perhaps the flight was full and the business class (BC) seats were not occupied, so I was given a seat there. I did not feel exceptionally overjoyed, perhaps just a little happy because I was offered a seat more lavish than what I had paid for.

At that time, I did not know what I was in for.

In all the previous flights I had taken, I was always on economy class (EC). I thought there was no need to be extravagant on a flight trip, especially since it was a short flight. Spend a few hundred dollars more just for a 2 hour trip? No way.

“I will probably sleep through the flight, so what’s the difference if it was first class, business class or economy class?”

It was only after I got on the plane that I realized the difference.

Business class is so luxurious! I felt like a princess on board.

When I boarded the plane and settled down in my seat, a pretty, smiling air stewardess came up and offered me a drink. A cooling drink! Just what I needed then. In EC, the air stewardesses would usually be busy ushering passengers, and if you want a drink, you would probably have to wait meals are served. Furthermore, the economy class air stewardesses do not seem to like to smile much. I wonder why? Could it be the business class air stewardesses are higher ranked? Perhaps.

And the BC seats are so comfy! In EC, there is hardly room for you to stretch your feet. And somehow, passengers who sit in front of me always like to move their seats all the way down, such that I can hardly squirm in my seat. Perhaps it is just my bad luck. But in BC, there are no such worries! I can stretch my feet all the way to the front and yet still miss the seat in front by a shoulder’s length (Don't say I have short legs!).

Next comes the food. When it was about time to serve lunch, the pretty air stewardess came by to pass me a menu so I can check out what was in store for me. In EC, the air stewardesses will push the food cart around while serving food. If you want to find out what is on the menu that day beforehand, you have to stretch your ears up in the air and try to decipher whether she said it is “chicken with rice” or “fish with noodles” etc, or point your nose up in the air to sniff for clues. In EC, there is only one main course with a bun and desserts either fruits or cake, and drinks like coffee, tea and juices to choose from. Here’s the menu I had for BC: appetizer as smoked salmon with mixed vegetables, assorted bread, chicken spaghetti, peach tart, chocolate and tea. What a wide spread!

I usually cannot stand airplane food. I find that they have a “plastic” kind of taste, and I seldom touch the main dish, because I have had the experience of falling sick after consuming the food. This time round, I managed to finish the appetizer! It was an achievement for me! Although I did not touch the BC main dish as well, I managed to eat the rest. That was no mean feat for me.

In previous occasions, I usually slept through most of the journey on board a plane. Now I knew the reason. It was not because I was tired, but because there was nothing for me to do except to stare at the ceiling and the floor on the plane (not that that is anything interesting). When I was on BC, I had no time to fall asleep! I was wide awake watching shows on the monitor screen in front of my seat. I watched “Mr Bean” and a Taiwan concert with Jay Chou. The flight came to an end before I finished watching the concert. What a pity! I usually feel a little unwell after a plane trip, but this time round, I was fine and I even wish the journey could have been longer!

After my first experience on business class, I finally understood why Mr Durai wanted his (infamous) first class flight, and even committed the outrageous folly of switching his business class for first class. If business class could be so enjoyable, first class must be a lot better.

Well, I still think that it is not necessary to spend too much money on a plane flight. Economy class is perfectly fine. But after this business class experience, I wish that for my future flight trips, the plane could run out of economy class seats again!

I am a greenhorn

Having just taken my first step into the working world, I am a greenhorn.

A greenhorn in the work I am doing, in dealing with people and in handling work related issues.

In a nutshell, I have no experience.

And I know it.

Starting from square one, I have made slight blunders here and there. Well, even people who have worked for a long time make mistakes occasionally. “To err is human”. We all quote that, don’t we? But, being new at a job is no excuse for making mistakes. There is no point in arguing or trying to shun responsibility when it is clear that you have made an oversight. Just admit that you are careless, and make it a point to take note the next time.

I have to admit that there is just so much to learn in a new environment. And I am so impressed by the efficiency, accuracy and responsibility that my colleagues handle work.

Much as I know that I am a greenhorn, I do not like people to link my experience with my competence, like in the scenarios below:

1) Someone asks you, “How long have you been on the job?” When you answer, “About a month”, the person gives a look that says, “What?! Just a month?”, sounding like he doubts your abilities.

2) Someone questions your ability because you have no experience, or even gives condescending remarks like, “Oh, you are so new ah?”, or “Why let him handle this work? Get someone with more experience.”

Upon hearing such remarks, one might feel exasperated or worked up (especially if you are a graduate one who has just stepped into the society, full or enthusiasm to excel and to display your talent).

Nevertheless, one should really shrug off such remarks and take it in his stride.

I feel that in a way, action truly speaks louder than words. There are certain things that you can only prove (or disprove) and show your worth through the quality of your work. If you can only say, “Hey, I am good!” but you produce sloppy, sub-standard work, then you might as well eat your own words.

I am a greenhorn and I am grasping the ropes. Give me time to find my way and I will show you my worth.

To all the greenhorns out there, do not let little things get you down, let’s work hard and give our best.

No one is indispensable

I met a young intern recently. Although he was on a school attachment with a company, his brilliant performance was on par with some of the full time staff there. His boss appreciated his work.

When it came to the end of this attachment, some people asked him, “Why don’t you stay on for a couple of weeks more? It is a rare opportunity to find a boss who likes you, and trusts you to handle some of the important matters in the company.”

He shrugged his shoulders, smiled and replied frankly, “No one is indispensable.”

He said, “Even though I might seem like an essential person in the company now, once I leave, the job can easily be taken up by somebody else. The company continues to move on; nothing stops still just because I have left.”

His words are true, but sometimes, so true that it hurts the ears.

It makes one feel like you are just a soldier on the battlefield, when you are down; the next one takes your place. As easy as that.

Nevertheless, there is no need to bring yourself down just because you may not be as important as you thought you were or hoped to be. A sense of self-importance is necessary, be it at home or at work, because it makes one feel good about themselves. The danger comes in when one goes “overboard”, and takes the world to be his own, or feels that he is the pivot the world should revolve on.

Sometimes, when we are upset, and we see that the world is still busy with its own matters, people walk swiftly past us, or people busy doing work, a voice cries out in us, “I am so upset, why does nobody care?”

Sometimes, the more you expect, the greater the disappointment when things do not go your way.

I once watched a Korean show where a girl’s fiancé died on the day of their marriage. One day a few months later, when she was mourning his death, she lamented that people around him have gone on with their lives happily. She cried, “Why have they forgotten about you?” And she ended up asking herself, “Will I forget you one day?”

In this context, it seems like anyone and everyone can be “indispensable”, as in, the world does not stop just because of you. But, that is looking at the macro aspect.

In the big picture, no one is indispensable in the world. It would have been disastrous, if the world is dependent on one person.

But, to people who care about you, you are indispensable.

Commencement

My graduation ceremony was held on 9th July 2005. At the National University of Singapore (NUS), the ceremony was termed the Commencement. Indeed, with “Commencement”, a new phase of life has begun, and I have officially closed the chapter of my life as a student.

Thinking back, sometimes, I regretted my choice of going into the Science stream since junior college. Science is something I am relatively good at, but perhaps not passionate about. I may have performed better than a fellow classmate in the examinations, but his love and thirst for laboratory findings probably far surpasses me. At the end of the day, I have received a beautiful certificate, but it is nothing compared to what he has gained.

After all these years of education, I have realized that grades and being good at studying are important, but being passionate about it keeps you “alive”. Many graduates emerge from university claiming that they do not like what they are studying, what they have studied are useless in the working world, and they cannot wait to get out of the education system. But, if you feel this way, like I do at times, why not channel your energy to something you like to do? It may not be something directly related to your academic field, or something that will make you rich one day, but something you really feel passionate about. The key word is “passion”. As one enters the working world, he will probably see that "passion yields performance". If you have made the mistake of choosing the wrong education stream once, make it up to yourself by choosing a job you like.

I look at the thousands of graduates each year, and it is so easy to be hidden and lost in the midst and appear to be just one of the few thousands. A hardly significant one. But, everyone is unique in his or her own way. To his loved ones, and most importantly, to himself.

There is no room for regrets. Every path we take, every decision we make, and every experience in our life moulds us into the way we are now. What we can do is to see how we can move on from where we were.

Grades are passé, let’s move on from here.

Congratulations on your Commencement!

Do you stay overnight at...?

A few days ago, I happened to hear a mother complaining about her son’s girlfriend.

“She always comes to our house to stay over, once in just a few days. Doesn’t she have her own house and bed? Why must she come to my son’s room to sleep over?”

“Every time she comes to our house, she will not greet anybody and will just go straight to the room and then the two of them will shut themselves up in the room. What in the world are they doing inside?”

Her conclusion: this girl is indecent and she dislikes her behaviour.

Later on, I discussed this issue with a 50 plus-year-old uncle.

He said, “Things are different now. In the past, people do not stay over at their boyfriend’s or girlfriend’s house. Nowadays, couples who are not married go on long holidays together. Some even cohabit.”

“You can’t really say whether the girl or guy is indecent or not, because a lot of people do that nowadays. The society has changed.”

From my point of view, I feel that whether a couple should stay overnight at each other’s house or go on holiday together, depends largely on the couple’s maturity and the stability of their relationship.

If it is a young couple, and either party is having a “playful” mentality, then I would strongly discourage them. The thing is, there is always the chance of “making a mistake at the spur of the moment”.

However, if the couple is serious and responsible about the relationship and is considering marriage in the future, I think they should be allowed their freedom to choose.

Nevertheless, speaking from a girl’s point of view, I would not disapprove, but I would not encourage.

I guess although the society has progressed much, there are still certain areas that are to a girl’s disadvantage. And the worst thing is for a girl to be labeled as “indecent” or to be projected in such bad light.

For example, if a girl frequents bars and pubs, guys love to ask her out to “chiong”, but behind her back, they call her a “loose” woman and other awful names.

Some people say, “Why bother so much about what other people think?” Simply because, we do not live in a world of our own, if we do, then there is no need to care about what other people say.

A lot of people ask me why I did not go on a holiday with my boyfriend after my graduation. The truth is, my father does not like me to go on a holiday with a guy alone, or to stay over at a guy’s house. He says that girls should not appear too “easy-going” in that sense, no matter how close the boyfriend or guy friend is. I do not really agree with him because I feel that I am old and mature enough to know what to do and what not.

But still, I listened to him. I respect his thinking and I can understand his concern, and most importantly (call me old fashioned) when I put myself in his shoes, I know that once I become a parent next time, I would not want my girl to stay over at a guy’s house or go on holiday alone too.

In the case of the mother who complained about her son’s girlfriend, I do not think she ever told the girl she did not like her to stay over, and she might even have told her to “come over more often”. But the truth is, sometimes, people do not say what they think.

In a nutshell, and the harsh truth as well, for girls, sometimes, we just have to be a little bit more mindful about our actions.

Birthday Present

Buying a birthday present is one big headache.

What should I buy? If I buy this, will she like it? Perhaps not. How about that? But she may not use it after all. What is his favourite colour? Blue, green or red? I like this, but will he like this too? What should I buy?

To save the hassle and the trouble of brainstorming for a birthday present, some people simply resort to asking the birthday boy or girl, “Just tell us what you want.”

Although I agree that this truly helps to save time and reduce the possibility of buying something that the birthday boy or girl may not like, I feel that in a way, the element of surprise is diminished.

Furthermore, not knowing what to get for a friend just goes to show you have not paid enough attention to what your friend wants and needs.

When I was a student, when a classmate’s birthday is coming, some of us would pool our money and go shop for a present together. Those were the fun times. It was fun because everyone goes to hunt for the present together, while considering what the birthday boy or girl likes, and perhaps a surprise is planned for him or her later on.

As we got older, there are still times when we would chip in money to get a birthday present. The difference is, usually only one or two would be in charge of getting the present, because there is no common time for everyone to come together to shop for a present. Most of the time, we only end up paying the “treasurer” of the group for the gift. At times, we do not even get to see the present.

In some cases, the birthday boy or girl will simply buy something he or she likes, and then everyone gives him money for it later.

Is this the way modern people like to have their birthday presents?

Frankly speaking, I do not like such arrangements at all. I find that it seems more like a TRANSACTION (because there appears to be only money involved) than a nice gesture for our friends on their birthdays.

There are a lot of things we can simply settle or dismiss with money, but before we succumb to that level, let’s try to preserve the very essence of human touch.

I am sure there are things that we can buy for a friend, other than giving him money for a birthday present. This is definitely different from an elder giving us an hongbao for a birthday.

Sometimes, the very effort of going down to a shop and searching for a gift is enough, regardless of whether the gift is what the person on the receiving end likes.

But of course, practicality seems to be always highest on most people’s priority list, so even though we may appreciate what a person gives us for a birthday present, deep down inside, we may still exclaim, “Why on earth did he give me this? He should have given me that instead!”

Which is why I say, if we really cannot think of something to buy for a friend, perhaps it might be better just to get a card and pen down some genuine sincere greetings. To write down your sincere well wishes for the birthday boy or girl needs pretty much effort too. It may not be as easy as you think!

Anyone's birthday coming up? What should I get for you?

*ponder ponder*

I go to the IMH, does that make me a lunatic?

Sometime ago, I was sent out on an assignment, and I had to make a trip to the IMH.

IMH stands for Institute of Mental Health, better known as “Woodbridge Hospital” to many Singaporeans. And commonly thought to be a place that houses “lunatics”.

That day, I had the first taste of being regarded as a “mad” woman.

I have never been to the IMH before, but I found out beforehand that a particular bus could take me there.

I enquired a station attendant at the MRT station, “May I know where I could take the bus to IMH?”

The station attendant raised his eyebrows, pointed hastily to the exit and said, “Over there.”

I sensed his wariness and I thanked him and left quickly. I could feel he was peering at me weirdly from behind.

Not knowing where exactly I could alight, I wanted to ask the bus driver when I boarded the bus.

“Excuse me, is this the bus to IMH?”

“…Yes…”

The driver scrutinized me from head to top. That day, I was dressed quite neatly, apart from slightly ruffled hair because I had been running around the whole day, like a mad woman, literally.

Well, the driver did not seem to want to entertain me anymore, and so I gave up without trying. I found a seat and decided to look out for road signs on my own.

I happened to glance at the driver, and guess what? He was looking at me through his rear window mirror!

He must have thought I am mad, just because I am making a trip to the IMH! And he must be wondering what a mad woman was doing on his bus!

On that day, I realized how stereotypical some people could be, especially in areas they are not familiar with. No doubt the IMH deals with lunatics, but not all people who go there are crazy! People who have slight emotional distress or disorder go there to seek treatment, some attend therapy sessions there, some work there, and others like me, just happened to have to make a trip there.

I used to be stereotypical of certain things as well, but after this incident of being placed awkwardly into a situation, and realising that it certainly does not feel good to be mistaken as a lunatic, I think it is time to change some of my views too.