Primary School Friend

The other day, I was “poking my nose” around at an event when a Malay police officer came up to me with a stern face and asked, “Are you Yvonne?”

I got a shock and thought, “What had I done wrong?” Shakingly, I said, “Y…e…s…”

To my surprise (and amusement), the next thing he said was, “You used to study at XX Primary School, right? I was your primary school friend, remember?”

I stared at his face and then I realized, “Oh yes! This was the quiet and plump boy who was always playing around with the other Malay boys in class!” He still looks about the same, except that he is much taller and muscular. What a pleasant surprise! For years, I had totally forgotten about this friend, whom like many other primary schoolmates, have accompanied me through one of the most memorable part of my life. To be reunited with this primary school classmate, was the best thing that happened to me that day.

Primary school seems like such an “ancient” term. After all, it is more than ten years since I finished primary school.

Have you lost touch with your primary schoolmates? More precisely, do you still keep in touch with them?

It is not that easy to “lose touch” with friends you grew up with, especially if you used to study in a primary school in your neighbourhood, and you have not moved in your entire life. By “not losing touch”, I mean that you still see some of these primary schoolmates around every now and then. Be it at the neighbourhood grocery store, at the hawker centre or at the bread shop. You may also bump into them once in a while when you take a bus or the MRT.

To “keep in touch” is another different story. It means to maintain contact with your old schoolmates, either by meeting up, through phone calls, emails or smses.

If you still keep in touch with your primary schoolmates, congratulations! You are one of the rare species these days. (Some people do not even keep in contact with their secondary school friends!)

I always feel impressed with those who remain good friends with their primary schoolmates. I have just one burning question in mind, “How do they manage to do it?”

For me, the number of primary schoolmates whom I still maintain contact with, can be counted by the number of fingers on one hand. My only consolation is that, I still stay in touch with some of my primary school teachers.

When I was young, I did not know the importance of “keeping in touch” with your friends. When I went to secondary school, I was the only one from my primary school there. At that time, adjusting to a new environment and new friends was the only thing most of my fellow peers and I had on our minds. At that time, some of us met up occasionally, usually to return to school to chat with the teachers.

However, about a year after I graduated, my primary school closed down due to the falling student intake and the teachers were posted to other schools all over Singapore. Gone was the school, with teachers dispersed everywhere and when secondary schoolwork turned more hectic, “keeping in touch with primary schoolmates” became a forgotten matter.

A few years ago, I suddenly had the idea of searching for all my primary schoolmates, and organizing a big reunion. The biggest hesitation was: would it be awkward for people to meet up after so long? However, I still took up the task as a "private investigator" but the plan soon fell through because it was too hard to find people whom I have not seen, and had no news of, in more than ten years.

Some people say that if certain things are lost, they are lost for life, and that sometimes, some things are better left the way they were.

Nevertheless, I still hope that some day, I might get to meet all my primary schoolmates the pleasant way I met my police officer friend, and to pick up these long lost friends one by one.

Time Not Enough

I wish I have 48 hours a day. Then I will have more time for work, sleep, books, television, exercise and blogging, for just everything and anything under the sun, that I want to do!

Time just does not seem to be enough.

You go to work, get busy in the morning, and soon it is lunch time. You get back to work after a meal, and before you know it, it is time to get off work, and your work is still not done. Not wanting to leave unfinished work, you stay back for OT (overtime) and continue working. When you pack up and leave for home, the sun has set, and you drag your tiring feet home. After you finish your dinner, you want to relax and have some time to yourself. You read or go online or watch television. After a while, you yawn and wonder whether you are getting old because you tire so easily. You watch television and fall asleep in front of the tv set, just like what your father always does.

The routine stays the same the next day and the following day and so on.

Time never seems to be on our side. And it does not help that your body rebels against your will.

Sometimes, we want to do so many things after we get off work, but it is late and we feel tired after a hard day of battle at work. We give in to our body's grumblings and rest for the day.

I think time management is really an art. Of course taking good care of your body is another form of art as well.

A friend commented that day that as we grow older (well, actually we are still in our 20s, and that is still pretty young!), we seem to lose the vitality and the vibracy that the young possess. We go out for half a day and fatigue wears us down. In the past, we could play for the whole day and yet still feel that we could tahan (endure) for another day or more.

Some people say we "work to rest", but in Singapore, people seem to "rest to work". If there are 48 hours a day, people might probably work for over 20 hours a day. Scary!

On second thoughts, I think I will stick to 24 hours a day, and work on my time management. Cheers!

Will you support Weilian?

Project Superstar was the talk of the town over the weekend. I mentioned about this competition in my previous post “Will he be the next Superstar?” (28/6/2005). At that time, I was sure HE would not get anywhere near the finals. It was now proven that I was very wrong.

HE is Chen Weilian (Kelvin Tan), 23, otherwise known as the blind busker.

In case you have not watched the show, let me give a brief recap. He was one of the two male finalists in the contest that was aired last Wednesday. Both sang three songs in the 1½ hour contest. Hot favourite NUS undergraduate Ang Junyang, 24, took home an average score of 40.7, while Tan had a score of 37. These scores were awarded by a panel of five judges, which stood 30% of the competition results. The other 70% came from viewers’ votings.

In the end, Tan took the crown.

For the last few days, a lot of viewers were unhappy about the results. Most felt that the voting system was unfair because Ang had performed better in the finals, and that Tan won due to sympathy votes. Others felt that Singaporeans should not be biased towards Tan just because of his disability.

In the female rounds, air stewardess Kelly Poon, 22, won the female crown with an average score was 38.7, while her rival Singaporean PR Chew Sin Huey, 24, effortlessly got 42.5 points.

Both Tan and Poon scored lower scores than their rivals and both won the contest. Why were there less disagreements and unhappiness on Poon’s victory than Tan?

In my opinion, I think it is because although Poon did not get a score as high as Chew, but she is in general the one with more star appeal. One could sing better while the other has more star quality. In a nutshell, they were on par with each other. Whereas for Tan and Ang, it is clear to most neutral viewers who fits the bill of a Superstar more appropriately.

Both Tan and Ang were sick during the finals. Ang was a flop on his first song, but sang increasingly well for his second and third songs, despite a sore throat. Tan who had a bad flu, did average for his three songs. Over lunch the other day, I overheard someone saying, “Both were sick, but of course it would be more difficult for Tan to overcome it.”

Although Tan’s supporters are crying out to others not to place emphasis on his disability, but would it be possible to draw the line between him and his disability? Let’s face it. If Tan had been another normal contestant, would there have been so much controversies over his triumph?

Tan’s sister said after the competition, “Do not be place the emphasis on what Weilian cannot do, but think of how he can make you feel touched with his voice.”

It would have been possible if we have not seen Tan perform on stage before, and he could be marketed as an unconventional, behind-the-scene singer like Ocean Ou. But now? Would it still be possible?

It seems that a lot of Tan’s supporters had voted for him because of his courage and fighting spirit. Perhaps the determination and perseverance that Tan possesses, to disregard his lack of vision, to stand on stage and compete with other normal contestants is what Singaporeans want to see, and to be motivated. Some also feel that with Tan's emergence, people with disability could finally be integrated and accepted into mainstream society. To many, Tan is like a hero and idol, because he has shown that people who are handicapped, could still fight for their dreams. And his supporters are helping him to achieve it.

I must say that Tan has done a wonderful feat, to gel Singaporeans up, and to make Singaporeans stand up and say, "Let's be fair to one and all, regardless of their disabilities." That is worth our salutes.

But my question is, should this be the way we choose our Superstar? No doubt Tan can sing well, and perhaps, everyone has their own way of defining a “Superstar”. But to all those who have supported Tan out of sympathy, I only have these words for you, “This is a contest, not charity.”

And as my friend puts it aptly, “If Ang or Poon wins the contest, they will just be an addition to the current music scene like Stephanie Sun, Lin Jun Jie or Ah Du, nothing special. But when Tan wins, it would be a different story.” Indeed.

The grand final between Poon and Tan will take place on 1st September at the Indoor Stadium. Both have released their CD singles on Saturday, and the sales of the CD will make up 30% of the votes, while 70% will rely on viewers’ votes on that day.

Well, from the way things are going, I would not be surprised if Tan clinches the top spot during the finals.

Reading Harry Potter for the first time

I am not a fan of fantasy tales, and I do not really like to watch fantasy movies.

So, it is a wonder that I picked up “Harry Potter and the Pilosopher’s Stone” by J.K. Rowling. My first Harry Potter book.

One reason why I do not like fantasy stories is because I find that some parts of the story are too unreal (that’s why they are called fantasy stories, aren’t they?). Perhaps I am used to dealing with logic. Everything happens and should happen for a reason. So when things become too ridiculous in such movies, I am unable to relate to them.

Another reason is because I can never seem to remember most parts in the fantasy movies. If it was a “normal” movie, I can remember most of the storyline, the scenes, the characters and even some of the dialogue after some time. But ask me about a fantasy movie a week after I watched it? I might not even remember the name of the lead.

However, I watched all the Harry Potter movies, simply because there was the craze (and I followed the crowd), and because critics say they are good mega movies (I wanted to be entertained and to make my money worth).

As I was reading the Harry Potter book, I picture in my mind: Harry Potter, his glasses, his scar, his friends Ron and Hermione, Hogwarts, Quidditch…… I must say having watched the movie helps. The story settles into place with more ease.

I always say that fantasy stories like Harry Potter, are movies that I will only watch once. Perhaps I am unable to appreciate the essence of these movies, but I feel that besides the magnificent architecture and beautiful scenery, such stories lack in meaning. The recent movie “Charlie and the Chocolate Factory” is another such example. A big disappointment and failure I would say, not to mention that the movie does not have grand buildings, breath-taking scenery or excellent casts to boast of.

While I was reading the Harry Potter book, something came to mind: This seems so much like a children’s book, why did it capture so many people’s attention (including adults), all over the world? Perhaps I need to finish the book, read the second, third, fourth…books before I am able to fully grasp the true meaning (if any) of the story and the message behind it.

I am about half way through the book, let’s hope I survive till the end!

I had a game with a star!

I do not have friends who are stars (meaning artistes), so I do not know exactly how it feels to be walking alongside a star, chatting and even having dinner together.

Picture this scenario. You are up close and personal with an artiste in a restaurant, while fans are crowding outside, jostling and pushing, and sticking their faces to the door. The fans are even trying to catch a glimspe of you, to see why you are so lucky to be with their idol. Suddenly a sense of importance overwhelms you. (Although after sometime, you would probably find the attention disturbing and distracting, or that people are invading your privacy.)

Well, if I see a star walking past me, I will probably steal a few glances at him, no matter how popular or unpopular he is. It is true that artistes are basically just like you and me, except that they get to appear on television. But precisely because they are public figures, we tend to look at them and exclaim: "Hey, it's XXX!" (or at least I do), followed by, "He looks so cool!" or "Gee, he looks so normal, I wonder how he ever became a star?".

Of course, as we grow older, we will appear calm and composed when we meet an artiste, but there is always this little bit of excitement burning inside. After all, we do not get to see the stars in real life everyday.

That day, I went for a game with some friends, and...she was there! She is this artiste who is knowledgable, intelligent and often gives intellectual comments. She happens to be a friend of one of my friends. Well, she is not my idol (more of my mother's idol), but imagine having a game with a star when we actually paired up! We did not talk much, but she was nice and kept smiling, and we had some small talk too. I was tempted to ask her for an autographed photograph (I think my mother would like that), but luckily I stopped myself in time (I remembered suddenly that I have an image to maintain), otherwise, I would have appeared like a crazy little fan.

I believe the rest were pretty used to having a star amidst the company. I guess she does not feel like a star amongst them, and neither do they feel that she is any different. Probably that is why she likes to hang around with them. I think public figures value privacy and being "normal" a lot, especially those who have been in the entertainment scene for quite sometime.

About a few months ago, I was waiting for a friend in Bugis when I bumped into the Channel U television crew. The hosts Quan Yi Feng and Kym Ng were filming this matchmaking variety show. This is kind of embarrassing, but I will say it anyway. I was immediately transformed into a little fan, and even boldly approached a stranger to help take a photo of me with Quan Yi Feng. That is the so called "star effect". I do not particularly like the two, and I hardly watched that variety show, but yet they "enticed" me to turn into a fan at the spur of the moment.

You must be saying, "Hey, come on, you are already 23, yet you are doing this kind of silly thing?"

Well, I am over twenty, but I am still young at heart, with this tiny bit of "childishness" still in me. And it seems set to stay put for a while!

Is your father a C+?

If you were asked to grade your father, would you give him an A, B or C?

Sometime ago, a magazine did a survey on how Singaporean kids view their parents. Of those who took part in the survey, they gave Singaporean fathers an average grade of C+.

That is such a low grade, I would say. But, the grade was not given without some truth in it.

The other day, a friend told me a story about this father of two.

He is a middle aged man who is a good boss. He teaches young employees with patience at work and talks to them like a caring father after work. A lot of people admire him and even said his children are a fortunate lot.

Because of his long working hours, he usually got back home quite late, after his wife and children have finished their dinner. Back at home, while the kids were busy doing homework or using the computer, he watched the news on television and read the newspapers, like many other fathers do.

However, he makes it a point to talk to the kids everyday. That is a good thing, but, the things that he said were always the same.

“Have you finished your homework?”
“Why are you always playing computer games?”
“It’s late, quick go to bed.”

He did “try” to talk to the children, but there is simply nothing he could say to them, except the monotonous words he repeated day after day.

It is no wonder why fathers were given a C+ grade. What else do they expect?

Sometimes, it is quite saddening that some parents have nothing to say to their children, or even feel awkward talking to them.

But, while Singaporean fathers are given a C+ grade, I think most Singaporean children deserve the same grade too.

Communication is a two-way business. While children may complain that their parents do not understand them, how much do they understand of their parents?

When we are much younger, we might take it for granted that our parents should take the initiative to ask us about school and about our friends. But sometimes, when they ask, we would simply tell them not to ask so much, or simply reply, “Aiyah, you do not understand lah,” to “dismiss” them.

Ask yourself, how many times have you asked your parents whether they had a good day at work and how are their colleagues?

Once? Twice? Or none?

Maybe the magazine should do a survey on how Singaporean parents grade their kids. Let’s hope we can get at least a C.

Massage? Spare me!

Have you ever had a massage before? Not the kind that your friend gives you after a hard day of work, or the kind you give your mother when she complains of backache.

I mean massage at a massage parlour, by professional trained massage therapists.

I had. Twice. The first time was a foot massage in China. The second time was a recent back massage I had in Bangkok.

And boy, it was itchy!

Both occasions made me so tickish that I wanted to kick the massage therapist to tell her to stop!

The back massage I had in Bangkok took place on the first floor of a shopping mall. Open air, open space?!? Yes, exactly.

It is amazing how people do not feel awkward to be massaged in "public" over there. The business was really good, and people had to queue up just for a massage. Had it been in Singapore, I think most people would shun the makeshift massage parlour. Most people would think, "No way. What if someone I know saw me?"

At the shopping mall, the "open" concept was quite interesting. The makeshift massage parlour was set up quite nicely, decorated with plants and curtains, although people who walked around the mall could still see us quite clearly.

The lady who did the back massage for me, was a Thai in her mid 40s. She looked rather small built, but you should see the strength she has! She massaged and nudged and pinched my back with such brute force, you would wonder if she was marinating a piece of meat she hated.

I looked at her pleadingly, and she muttered some Thai language which I could not understand. I said, "Lightly, lightly, not so hard." She smiled and continued her massage, obviously oblivious to my "cries" for help. I closed my eyes tightly, hoping it would soon be over.

Not so easy though. The "interesting" part came.

She lifted my right arm, and massaged my shoulders and my......armpit! *Itch!* I am the kind who cannot play games that will end up with people tickling one another. I will be the first one to wave the white cloth and surrender. And now, my armpit actually got massaged! I feel ticklish just thinking of it now.

I giggled and she must have thought I enjoyed it because she massaged with a lot more brute force. And soon my entire feet and toes were all curled up.

It was my "silent" SOS signal. And, guess what? She noticed it! "Yippee!" I cheered softly. But, all she did was to point to my feet, and said something to a massage therapist next to her. And the two of them burst into laughter.

"They must be laughing at me being silly!", but I was not offended, because while she was laughing, she forgot all about my armpit, and she stopped massaging for a while! Whew!

After which, she continued to "marinate" the rest of my back. I was getting used to the "pain" and "torment" until she came to my left armpit. Another round of giggling, curling of feet, laughter, and finally it was over!

40 minutes of torture, and eh-hem, fun and laughter.

This was a photograph taken with the massage therapist after the session. I looked "happy". don't I?

But, another massage session for me? Not in a long time I think!

National Day

A few weeks ago, a friend asked me to help gather some National Day well-wishes.

I thought, “National Day greetings are just one or two liners, it should be quite easy”, so I agreed promptly and emailed some people for help.

The next day, I received two replies.

“That’s fast!” I was delighted. And I expected more to come.

Two days, three days, four days and five days went by, I patiently waited. One week passed, I got worried. When two weeks were gone, I started pulling my hair. And no new responses came in. That was it. The two replies were all that I have received. No more well-wishes knocked on my door. That was less than 5% success rate.

What happened?

Could it be because everyone is too busy with work or studies to think of something meaningful to say to Singapore? (That is possible.) Were my mails somehow lost or discarded along the way? (That is a lame excuse, though possible.) Or is it because no one has anything that they want to say to Singapore? (That is a sad truth.) Or could it be because we cannot be bothered to do it? (That is a sadder truth.)

“What’s there to say?” Someone might ask. This is a good question, though it came across rather bluntly.

To say the truth, my well-wishes for Singapore are simple, but may sound quite cliché to many.

“I hope that Singapore will remain a safe, peaceful and prosperous place to live in, and that every Singaporean will learn to learn his family and friends, because only then will one feel happy and love his homeland.”

Stop saying Singapore is a stressful place. If you cannot live without technology and efficiency, you have to learn to live with a faster pace of life. Stop saying Singapore is a boring place with nowhere to go except Suntec or Orchard. Someone who lives in a foreign land with breathtaking scenery and magnificent architecture once said, no matter how beautiful a place is, everything looks and feels the same after a while, and it all depends on how one makes oneself feel happy in it.

If I were to ask you now, what would you like to say to our nation on her upcoming 40th birthday?

Wrong time, Wrong Place

Have you ever felt like you were in the wrong place, at the wrong time?

Most of the time, this is an embarrassing moment, and you feel out of place, almost in distress! You simply wish you were not there at that time. And there is only one thing on your mind, "Let me get out of here!"

You enter a MRT train. A young couple is having a squabble. It is late at night, you are alone with the couple in the cabin. They are sitting right across you. The guy yells at the girl. She screams in response. The girl breaks down and cries. You look at the floor, wishing you had boarded the next train or had entered a different cabin.

You met her at a party. She is gorgeous and has the sweetest smile you have ever seen. You bring her a glass of wine and start chatting. Diving, swimming, skating. Both of you share the same interests. You feel like you have met your special someone and you are thinking of asking her out after the party. A guy comes along and holds her by the waist. She introduces him as her boyfriend, and tells him you happen to sit down. Your smile freezes in place. The two whisper to each other sweetly as if you were not there, and go off soon after. Your smile cracks.

You are in the company lift, just at the door. The door is decorated with a huge mirror. You can see everyone in the lift, and everyone can see you. You wore a new pair of pants today. "Beautiful", you thought smirkly to yourself. You see Mr Lee from the Human Resources Department in the mirror. He steals a glance at you and smiles politely. Mr Chua from the Logistics Department. He smiles weirdly. And Mr Loh, the Computer Analyst, he smiles awkwardly. You wonder why everyone looks so different today. As the lift door opens at the 4th floor, everyone exits. Mrs Ang, the Admin Assistant walks past and whispers, "you forgot to zip."

The picture below was published in the Newpaper in July. Why was I captured in such a weird, out-of-nowhere, comical, awkward position?

Simply four words: Wrong time, Wrong place.