随想

一个人坐在咖啡厅里，看着外头来来往往的人群。
这种感觉，我特别喜欢。

没有人停下脚步，也没有人多瞧我一眼。
门外的人匆匆忙忙，门内的我悠闲自得。
时间一秒一秒地溜走，我却只感觉平静和自在。

这种与世无争、天塌下来当被盖的心情，最适合此时此刻的我了。

不会孤单、没有惆怅。
想笑就笑，想哭就哭，想发呆就发呆，想感动就感动。
想怎样就怎样。
不需要理会别人，也没有任何顾虑。

当人潮逐渐减少，灯光开始阴暗，不知不觉会发现自己是如此渺小。

这个时候，该是收拾心情，回家吧。

A little act

I was feeling tired and grouchy as I got up early to get ready for work.

When I stepped into the company lobby, I rubbed my eyes and gave a grumpy yawn.

"Miss!...Miss!"

I looked around but could not see anyone.

"Miss...Miss!"

The shouts grew louder. But still I could not see anyone in sight.

Then a lady walked past me, she was listening to music from a earpiece. Behind her, there was an Auntie wearing a blouse and a skirt, and carrying a handbag, running as fast as her legs could carry her. Auntie screamed for the lady to stop and waved her hands frantically in mid-air. She was holding a card in her hand.

"Your ATM card! Miss! Miss!"

When Auntie finally caught up with the lady, she was panting and sweating, and her face was all red.

Auntie told the lady, "You left your ATM card in the machine before you terminated the transactions. I just took the card and ran after you. You better check your card."

So, Auntie had ran after the lady all the way from the ATM machine at the other side of the lobby.

The surprised lady thanked Auntie profusely before they parted ways.

It was a simple act of kindness, but it left me smiling as I walked off.

Was the neighbour being a busybody?

Recently, a Woodlands window male "flasher" was caught and fined $6500.

A female neighbour living in the opposite HDB block, saw the married salesman walk naked in his bedroom in the wee hours of the morning for almost three months. She said that she even saw him "masturbating intentionally". She then made a police report which led to his arrest.

I discussed this case with some friends and interestingly, there were vastly divided views between the ladies and the gentlemen.

Most women feel that the neighbour did the right thing by reporting his lewd acts. They believe that the flasher was outraging a woman's modesty with his obscene deeds, and that he ought to be punished.

"Perhaps the man thinks that women cannot do anything to him because he was exposing himself from his home. This will teach him a lesson."

However, most men think that the neighbour was being a nosey-parker and she should not have looked into the man's house deliberately to catch him in the act.

Guy A said, "When she first saw this man walking naked in his house, she should have felt embarassed to look into his house again. Why did she peep in again and again for three months?"

Guy B said, "Some people just enjoy walking or sleeping naked in their house. After all, that is their own private space. Perhaps this guy has this habit too. But he made a grave mistake because he forgot to draw the curtains or the blinds."

From Guy C: "Perhaps he did not think that people in the opposite block could see him. Anyway he goes naked only for a short time early in the morning, maybe just after he bathed and was getting ready for work. If the neighbour had not been such a nosey-parker, would anybody else have noticed him?"

Guy D gave his view which would make any woman jump in annoyance, "Perhaps the man saw the woman looking at him day after day and got angry, that was why he did the 'masturbating' action on purpose to get her to stop staring. Maybe the female neighbour called the police after she has 'seen' enough."

I think most of the guys gave rather good defences. They have a point. But I do not agree that the female neighbour was being a busybody.

There is nothing wrong if you take pleasure in being nude and "free of burdens" in the comfort of your home. But there is a problem if your personal enjoyment affect your neighbours. Nudity is a sensitive issue and everyone's acceptance level is different.

If I stand by my window and see a neighbour walking naked in his house one day, I would probably check out his house again the next time I stand by the window. If I find out that he walks naked in his house but does not purposely go near the window or act pervertly, I would leave the matter to rest and try to avoid looking into his window again.

Nevertheless, if I catch him doing indecent acts, I would do what the female neighbour did: report the matter to the police.

What would you do if you found yourself in the same scenario?

Wake up, Woman.

The other day, I had a chat with a mistress.

Yes, a mistress. A third party between a man and his wife who were married for more than ten years.

I will just name her Lucy, and him George.

Lucy is in her thirties, she is not exactly pretty and dresses plainly. But she is the kind whom you feel comfortable talking to.

Lucy and George had been in a secret, sexual affair for three years. Lucy hoped this man would eventually divorce his wife and marry her.

Alas, her wish did not come true.

Recently, George’s wife saw Lucy’s love smses in his handphone and discovered that her husband has been up to some hanky panky behind her back. George started to ignore Lucy and refused to see her.

Finally, he decided to preserve his marriage and end his relationship with Lucy once and for all.

The man who used to dote and pamper Lucy, turned a heartless man overnight, and severed all ties with her. He even called her all sorts of awful names.

He had forgotten how Lucy helped him through the hard times and how she gave him her heart and her money.

No, I am not saying that George should stay with Lucy because she loved him.

Lucy knew George was married from the start and she should not become a third party regardless of what promises (or empty promises) George gave her. No one should break up another family.

I just feel angry because Lucy still loved the man despite what he did to her and pinned for his return.

I asked Lucy, “Why did you willingly become a third party? Do you not mind other people scolding you or calling you names behind your back?”

Her reply made me want to shout at her to wake up, quit being a fool, and snap out of this whole affair.

She said, “But I love him.”

Despite all that he has done? Despite him being cold and heartless?

“Yes, I still love him, I do not know why.”

When I heard that and saw the glow in her eyes, I have no heart to tell her in her face to come to her senses. Neither am I in the position.

I smiled and patted her softly on the shoulders. Inside, I was screaming, “Wake up!”

There are better choices out there! He is not the only shell left on the beach! Why stick to a heartless man and make yourself look so silly and pathetic?

I cannot understand Lucy's foolishness in love and I cannot bring myself to agree with her. Perhaps that is why people say love is blind.

I hope Lucy leaves George on her own accord soon. I am sure she will find a better man, someone more deserving of her love.

Disturbing Suicide Findings

On average, suicide is responsible for one death a day in Singapore.

Alarming findings from the Asia Pacific conference on suicide prevention were reported in the media yesterday.

It brought back tragic memories of this double suicide case I had reported before.

It happened sometime last year.

A man had jumped from a block of flats. Her pregnant girlfriend told me that he was in debt and was worried he would not have enough money to feed the baby. Shockingly, about two months after that, the girlfriend followed suit and jumped from the same block of flats.

I could not believe it when I found out. The lady was still safe and sound and talking to me coherently sometime ago. What was it that she could not handle and had to resort to seeking death? Was there no one she could turn to for help? Did her family not sense that she was at risk?

Permanent Secretary (Health) Yong Ying-I urged people who have direct contact with at-risk groups to help identify them early.

Indeed, with suicide as the top three causes of death among 15 to 35-year-olds, it is a significant health risk that should not be taken lightly.

Just two days ago, I was sent to a hotel in Orchard after a reader called and said a woman was sitting on the ledge of a 13th floor of the hotel.

When I arrived at the scene, I saw the woman sitting dangerously on the narrow ledge outside a hotel room (on the highest level) window. The police and the DART (Disaster Assistance and Rescue Team) had arrived.

The lady looked so weak and so vulnerable. Sometimes she faced the inside of the wall, at other times she turned and faced the road, and even looked straight down.

A lady (probably her family member) and a policeman were seen talking to her from the window of the 13th floor hotel room. It is believed that they were trying to coax her to return to the hotel room but it was to no avail.

Finally, after about two hours since the “drama” started, the DART team managed to bring her to safety. Whew.

It was lucky that she was discovered early, and that rescue came in time. Many others ended in sad tales.

From 2000 to 2004, 1700 people had killed themselves, and up to 7 in 10 were affected by mental illness of one form or another.

For most the suicide cases I have seen/ heard of/ reported (not all were reported) so far, many suffered from depression.

A month ago, a woman jumped from a block of flats while her husband was sleeping. She crashed and landed on the parapet on the second storey. When I went up to the floor where she jumped, I saw that there was a chair, a pair of slippers and spectacles left neatly on the floor. That sight really pained my heart.

When one is alone and feels trapped, any problem, big or small, seems immense. But talking about it to someone else (your family members, friends or a counsellor) would probably help. You might even realize that things are not as bad as you think.

Recalling the double suicide tragedy, seek help if you are in need. It can prevent one or more tragedies.

A trip to Jeju

Last month, I went on my first visit to Jeju, Korea and this trip made me realize how language barriers can pose as a big problem.

Most Koreans in Jeju only speak their own language, and that makes communication a tedious task. To make things worse, many signboards (even in tourist spots!) were written only in Korean. I saw this Korean sign in front of a cave which I thought was the name of the cave. When I asked the Korean tour guide what it meant, her reply came as a shock. She said it wrote "Danger. Do not enter. "

Nevertheless, despite the problems in communication, Jeju is a beautiful and tranquil place which is good for relaxation.

It is also a good place to go to if you love Korean drama, especially "All In" and "Da Chang Jin". I went to the "All In House" which was converted from a church (where the fliming took place) to a museum attributed to the lead roles. Imagine the status Korean stars have in their country!

At the Dragon Head Rock beach, I saw the famous Jeju women divers in action! These women, mostly in their fifties, dive into the sea without any breathing apparatus to catch fishes, octopus and abalones etc. They then sell the seafood at the side of the beach where people eat them raw on the spot. Over there, a Korean man offered me a piece of seafood fresh from the sea, I politely declined, but he made sure I ate it before he left. I think it is common for Koreans to eat things raw, but I don't like raw food and it sure tasted yucky!

The food in Jeju is also pretty delicious, like bbq meat, mixed rice etc, just look at the spread! But it can get quite heaty, and as fruits are expensive, they are seldom seen on the dining table.

All in all, I would say Jeju is a nice place to consider for a short holiday. But if you are looking for a shopping getaway or fun nightlife, then Jeju is not the place for you, because activities in Jeju end pretty early at night!